Following
your dreams can be daunting, but I am doing it and the whole experience feels surreal.
It has always been my dream to be a teacher, but due to financial and fear I
opted to withdraw from the program and get a B.A. instead. After graduation I
made a pretty nice salary and never thought twice about the choice I had made
to change degrees. However, after a few lays offs, getting fired, quitting and
then winding up at a place that I enjoyed everything about I somehow found the
courage to apply to a teacher certification program.
The
idea of applying was pretty easy to decide, it did not cost very much and there
was always the chance that I would not be accepted. Finding what program I was
going to apply to served me a challenge. I finally decided to get over it and
just do it. I applied and a few days later I was accepted. Then I had to sign
up for that hefty 4500.00 program fee that had actually talked me out of doing
this in the past and then the classes begun.
I
barely got one class completed when I realized I had a state exam to study for
and pass as soon as possible. This test would have five domains (English, Math,
Social Studies, Science, and Theater/Arts/Health) and 47 competencies divided
up in each of the domains. The actual test would be 140 questions, five hours
long and each group would be weighted on a different scale. I was terrified,
but there was no turning back.
I studied every free moment I could find. I had
Ruby come over and chitchat politics with me, so I could learn about Social
Studies since this is her passion in life. I had Jason spend a weekend teaching
me the child like Math equations that I had forgotten or never really learned
in the first place. I listened and watched more you tube videos than I ever
have to learn about phonetics and phonology. I poured my heart and soul in it for three solid
weeks.
It
was test day, I got lost (go figure) and thought I was going to miss my arrival
time and they would not let me in. I managed to make it in time and was ready
to go. I really enjoyed taking the test because I had worked so hard to know
everything it was fun being able to understand all the questions. Then I looked
up at the clock and I was on questions 62 and only had two hours to go.
Needless to say I freaked out and walked out of that exam just knowing I had
bombed it. I did not even look for my test scores to come I was that certain I
did not pass. I was discouraged. I had no idea how I was going to find
something to motivate/inspire and lift me back up. I have never worked so hard
for something and felt like such a looser for not doing well. I would have 60
days and another 120.00 to take it again, but if I did not have the drive to
study for it then that option was not going to do much for me.
I
checked my email and noted I had one from TExES and thought that was strange.
Then when I clicked on it I realized it was my score from my test and that I
had passed. I was so shocked I had to have someone else look at it to make sure
I was reading it correctly before I would think about sharing the news. I would
be so embarrassed if I did not really pass. What a sigh of relief and moment of
joy.
I
log on to my online certification program to work on my second class now that I
have that test done and I see that DISD
is still hiring for teachers, so after deep discussion with my Aunt I decide to
apply. I get a reply and they want to interview me immediately. I am not able to
make it that day, but they settle for a phone interview the following morning.
That goes very well, so they want me to come in and teach a class discussion. I
am freaked out. I have never been in the front of a real classroom. I do not
know the first adult thing about preparing a lesson plan. They seemed pretty
easy to come up with when I was a child.
There were no rules and the cabbage patch dolls did not talk back.
The principle emails me some guidelines on what I needed to teach on. The subject is Science and the section is over Energy. I am going to discuss the lesson over insulator and conductors. Jason and I go over to my Aunts on Sunday to get some help from her and my cousin Laura. Everyone works on getting an idea/plan together.. Jason and I head head back to Dallas to hopefully make it work. We were up until 3 a.m. preparing for this.
I
went in to what will now be my classroom of students that I will now be
teaching at 8:30 a.m. that 21st day of October that also just happen
to be my 33rd birthday and I nailed it. There were teachers and
staff watching me from the hall way. The principle was observing me in the back
of the classroom and recording me with her ipad. However, I managed to not get nervous. It
was just me and those 4th graders. My desire to try and keep them
focused blurred everything else out.
I
left that morning with no idea if I got the position or not, but I knew I did a
superb job on my lesson. As soon as I got home and parked the car I just
starting crying like a little baby. They were hard, happy, heavy and very
heartfelt tears. I could not believe I had actually taught in front of a
classroom to a group of real children. They even sang me Happy Birthday and
were sad to see me leave. It was a dream and now a reality.
The
principle called me later that day to let me know I got the job! She wanted to make sure to deliver the news to me on My Birthday!
Hello, my name is Ms.
Burkley and I will be teaching 4th grade Science and Writing starting
Monday, November 4th. ;-) More to come.....
