We walk in the door, put our name on the list and wait. There isn't a
spot for us to wait comfortable, so we are scrunched in by the bar area,
wishfully hoping that our little tot doesn't wake. The first thing I noted was
how loud the restaurant was. The silverware crashing on to one another, being
rolled up to place on the tables. The glasses clanking together where the bar
tender is putting the clean ones away. It brings me great joy that I am
empathetic for my little boy. I love that I can try to put myself in his shoes
in all our first adventures to try and relate to what he may be hearing, what
could be startling and recognizing all the new things for the first time just
as he is. Our first family of three outing was a riot. We sat down for
dinner, all was going accordingly to plan. I had pumped before we came and
prepped a bottle, so feeding could be done by me or Dad. I also, get a little
anxiety about nursing at the dinner table. I went to give him his bottle and to
my surprise the lid wasn't screwed on properly. Therefore, half of it on me and
the other on him. It seriously looks like I peed on myself and I feel like
the sticky you get from a sucker. I make the journey to the restroom to clean
up as best as I can. Wishing I had an extra outfit in the bag like he does. I
make a mental note to self, while I am nursing I should go ahead and keep an
extra outfit on hand as well.
Now we are out of the milk we had
planned to use and get us through our grocery shopping adventure that was next
on our list. This was a big outing for two new parents. We were going out
to dinner at Olive Garden and HEB. We muddled our way through dinner,
were thankful for our food, he was peaceful, packed up and made our way to
the grocery store. As we walk in the door I get a whiff of that
unpleasant smell that screams somebody needs a diaper change. That smell that
will come natural to you for years to come. I give my husband the
defeated smile, grab the bag and let him carry on with the list while I go
change the little nugget. To my dismay the cleaning restroom sign is displayed.
So, I'm waiting in line with the others until I start to feel something wet.
Yup, the diaper was leaking poop on my hand. Don't you worry, I took it
like a solider, held my baby close and waited. It felt like eternity, but we
made it. We got all cleaned up and ready to go. Or I was ready to go, and he
was ready to eat, again. So, I would have to go find a spot in the pharmacy area to
sit and nurse. Thankfully it was late, they were closed, the waiting area would
be dark and calm. Jason is ready to check out about the same time as I was
finishing up. I swaddle my bundle of adventure up and joined Dad in the walk to
the car. I never made it past the front section of the store but, was proud of
us for trying and most importantly getting out. Getting out can be the hardest
thing to do for new parents. It seems so daunting.
I have missed writing my blogs, I have
all these little entries I scratched down when I was able over the past two
years and decided today is the day I bring writing back into my life and get
all these little scratches of notes into an entry. I am reflecting on this
memory and start to feel anxious when I think about what taking two little guys
out will be. I wonder what our first family of four outing will look like.
Cheers to motherhood, it is a beautifully messy thing.
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